Your Crying Shoulder
by Vera The Awesome
Summary: After the events of Shin Teikoku, Sakuma and Genda are left to deal with the consequences of their actions while recovering in the hospital. When Genda's discharged, though, a lonely Sakuma is about to succumb to his inner struggle. Sakuma/Genda, one-shot.


**A/N: Hello everyone~ I really haven't been happy with my writing lately, so I'm happy I could produce this little fic. It's about time I wrote some Genda/Sakuma too, they're so precious. The title comes from the song "I'll be" (Edwin McCain), since it popped up during the writing process. So, even though it may not be the best, please enjoy. :)**

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"_Sakuma… Sakuma… Sakuma…!"_

Sakuma woke up to the image of an utterly distraught Genda. It vanished the moment he reconnected with the real world, but it had been long imprinted on his mind: the long, wild locks that shrouded his shoulders, the scar that crossed straight through his eye, and the vicious look he had maintained until the very end of their first and last match as part of Shin Teikoku. It had been two weeks since the dreaded event, when he succumbed to a piercing pain in his entire body as a result of a forbidden shoot. Genda, no doubt experiencing the same pain, had managed to make his way over, take him in his arms, and call out his name, voice pouring with worry.

Sakuma didn't remember much after that, aside from his promise to play soccer again with Kidou once he had recovered. But little had he known this recovery would take so much out of him. Surgery after surgery had to be performed in order to ensure his body wouldn't fall apart. He had strained every single muscle there was to strain, and the doctors had told him repeatedly that he was lucky to even have a chance of playing soccer again, let alone walking in general.

Unlike his injuries caused by Zeus, the ones he had now took three times longer to heal. And unlike his injuries caused by Zeus, these ones had been caused all by himself… Sakuma gritted his teeth, relieved he could at least do that with relatively little pain. He couldn't believe the part of him that had even considered working alongside Fudou Akio. He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to let his jealousy get the best of him, and tumble into such despair he vowed to use any means in order to surpass Kidou, his former captain. The person he looked up to the most… and had been foolishly determined to crush.

Look where it got him. He was lucky Kidou had actually accepted his promise before he was taken away by the ambulance. He had disgraced not only himself, but all of Teikoku in the first place. He had adapted to a play that in no way represented the soccer club that was his pride and joy. It was quite the opposite: rough and foul and belonging in a boxing ring rather than on a soccer field.

His teammates had already visited them a couple of times. The one good thing about this entire fiasco was the fact that Sakuma and Genda were allowed to share a room – the same one they'd shared after the match against Zeus. Contrast to the harsh exterior their friends displayed on the field, they had told them not to worry about a thing, and that they'd be waiting until their beloved goalkeeper and forward returned safe and sound. They were really too kind… Sakuma would've kicked himself out without hesitation if he were them.

Judging by the dim light that peeked through the curtains, Sakuma guessed it was early morning, probably around 5. He sighed and carefully turned his head to see if Genda was still asleep. It was hard to move, what with his bandaged body packed under the thick bed covers, but he managed to lay his cheek down and look upon Genda's empty bed.

Then he remembered. That's right. Genda was no longer in the hospital. Seeing as he'd used his destructive hissatsu move only once, his injuries were of a lighter kind and healed quicker, leading to his discharge yesterday. Sakuma felt his heart sink at the realization. In the midst of all these surgeries and check-ups and button-pushing because he felt like he was about to puke up his lungs, Genda had been the one positive aspect. He was the little light that constantly shone on Sakuma and reminded him not all hope was lost. He still had his friend, with whom he'd gone through this whole mess, and they would get out together as well.

… or so he thought. Sakuma quickly shifted his eyes back to the ceiling, hating the feeling of loneliness that washed over him all too slowly. Loneliness was one of the few negative emotions he hadn't felt ever since Teikoku lost to Zeus, which lead to their first real downfall in forty years. Even though it was humiliating, he had his friends to keep up his chin with. They had decided they would train as hard as they could so they could regain their prestigious status, and even when Fudou sidetracked him from that plan, he wasn't the only one. Genda had been there too. They understood each other's feelings of jealousy and inferiority, and the desperate need to build up their strength until it reached its peak. And then, when Raimon managed to end the match against Shin Teikoku in a tie, they understood each other's loss and disappointment, the consequences of their ruthless actions. It hurt, it hurt so damn much, but at least Sakuma wasn't alone.

That is, until now, when he was doomed to undergo God knows how many more surgeries before he was allowed to leave the hospital as well. Genda, the rock he didn't know how much he'd leaned on until this very moment, wouldn't be there to support or comfort him anymore. He'd return to Teikoku and be welcomed back with open arms, while Sakuma… Sakuma had no idea what he was supposed to do when that moment arrived for him. They'd been assured of their original place on the team, but… did he really deserve that? After the hell he put himself, his friends, and especially Kidou through? Even if Genda shared equal blame for that, Sakuma had been the one to push Kidou aside, belittle him at every chance, and make him watch a total of three times as he destroyed himself with Kotei Penguin Ichigo. Refusing to acknowledge Kidou's suffering at the time, he now had no other choice. And as of today, he was to carry this burden, which might even hurt more than his physical injuries, all on his own.

Sakuma frowned as he felt tears well up and quickly turned his head to the other side. The last thing he wanted was to cry, but with a lack of sleep and a crushing feeling of guilt, he might not be able to hold himself back.

Yet then he did. Sakuma completely forgot to cry when he looked right into the face of Genda Koujirou. He lay on a foldaway bed next to Sakuma's and was fast asleep. Sakuma gawked at him in shock, exhaling rasped gasps without actually managing proper words. What—what the hell was he doing here? Hadn't he been free to leave? And even if the doctors had made a mistake and told him to stay a little longer, why wasn't he in his hospital bed? Why was he sleeping at a ten-inch distance?

Sakuma seemed to forget Genda was asleep as these questions piled up in his head. "G-Genda… Genda…!" he stammered weakly, embarrassed to find he'd lost half his voice.

Luckily, it was enough to wake Genda up. He'd never been a deep sleeper. He opened his eyes and gave a sleepy smile when he made eye contact with his friend. "Hey."

"W-what are you doing here?" Sakuma demanded, clearly not beating around the bush. That was the sole thing he wanted to know: why Genda hadn't grabbed the chance to escape from this hell and return to his home at Teikoku without him.

"Well…" Genda started, and he sat up as he covered a yawn with his hand. Sakuma noticed he was wearing his own pajamas instead of those assigned by the hospital, and he spotted a shoulder bag next to the bed a moment later. Genda then confirmed the assumption that ran through his mind: "I'm staying at the hospital until you've recovered. I didn't want you to be lonely. I'm not a patient anymore, though, so I'm not allowed to sleep in my hospital bed. But they let me install this one next to you. You were already asleep by that time, so I left you alone."

"B-but…" Even though his most important question had been answered, Sakuma wasn't any less shocked. "Why are you sleeping here? If you wanted to visit me, you could've done that during the visiting hour—"

"But that wouldn't be enough, would it?" Genda interrupted with a calm, matter-of-fact look on his face. "Only visiting you an hour a day, even though we've constantly been together in this hospital. Did you really think I'd run right back to Teikoku and ditch you here?" He sighed as a wordless Sakuma's expression gave him a clear answer. "Sakuma, what do you think of me? I've been best friends with you ever since we joined the Teikoku soccer club. I know how much it means to you, just like you know about me. I know how guilty you feel about what we did, because I do too. We've shouldered the burden together all this time – how could I desert you in the middle of your healing process, as if our friendship doesn't mean anything? Do you really think that lowly of me, Sakuma?"

Sakuma was still at a loss for words. His astonishment hadn't worn off in the slightest, though it now refused to leave for a different reason. It was true he hadn't stopped one moment to think Genda might not leave him behind. He thought so little of himself that he immediately assumed Genda wouldn't bat an eye as he walked out of the hospital. He thought he was worthless, useless, undeserving of such attention… such kindness. He was so blind he'd forgotten that Genda would always support him, through thick and thin. Just like he always had.

And then the tears streamed out after all. Considering his right eye had lost full function when he was a child, his left did the job for both as Sakuma burst out sobbing. He couldn't believe Genda had decided to stay and wait for him. He'd been so sure he wouldn't see him again until he was finally allowed to return to Teikoku. But there he was, out of the blue, reminding him of the friendship he had almost dared to disgrace as well. Sakuma was grateful… so, so grateful for him. The only way he could express this gratitude was through tears, emotional as he was at this point.

"O-oi, Sakuma…" Genda went to sit on the edge of his bed and looked like he was about to embrace him for a moment, lay his head in his hand just like he'd done when Sakuma collapsed after the match. But remembering his friend's fragile state, he put his hand on his cheek instead, slowly rubbing away the tears with his thumb. The contact caused Sakuma to flinch, but he quickly forced himself to relax when that turned out to be a bad idea. He didn't want more reason to cry.

He stared up into Genda's eyes, which were as gentle as ever. Just like the rest of their teammates, he was capable of showing a sweet side, not like the one he showed as a soccer player. Sakuma had to admit, though, that Genda was probably the sweetest of all… Just those soft, blue eyes and that warm smile were enough to put him at ease. And at a moment like this, when he was twice as sensitive as usual, he felt like he was going to melt. Genda had never had such an effect on him before, but… he couldn't say it felt unnatural. Or bad, for that matter.

Genda continued to smile until Sakuma's sobbing reduced to stable breathing. He made sure to wipe away every single tear until no more fell, and then he bent down to kiss the other boy on the forehead. Sakuma let him without objection, even though it was the first time they'd ever been this intimate. Genda knew that too, but saw no reason not to cross this border when he felt as deeply for Sakuma as he did.

"Tears don't suit you," he whispered, continuing that soothing rubbing gesture with his thumb. Sakuma eventually managed to smile and carefully leaned into his touch. For a goalkeeper, Genda's hands were surprisingly smooth.

"Neither do those tattoos," he answered, referring to the orange marks that ran across Genda's cheeks. The brunet grinned and playfully pinched his cheek, but not too hard of course. "I see you're feeling better."

"Very," Sakuma admitted truthfully. It was incredible how easily Genda managed to cheer him up, but he did it. Even when Sakuma thought he'd reached his lowest point, all he had to do was just… be here. For Sakuma, that was enough. Genda was the only one who had such a miraculous effect on him. He treasured him so much… It was only tonight that he understood how much.

Genda briefly rubbed Sakuma's head before he sat back on his own bed. "Get some sleep," he urged, "we have about three more hours."

Sakuma nodded and closed his eyes, but then opened them again, just as Genda lay down and got comfortable under his blanket. "Genda?"

Genda's eyes flicked to his. "Yes?"

"Thank you," Sakuma whispered, and he detected a smile on Genda's face before shutting his eyes again. "You're welcome," he heard the other boy say. It wasn't much later that he fell asleep.

That night, the nightmare Sakuma had woken up to was replaced by a dream of a bright future. Genda appeared once more, but he smiled this time, and any sign of distress was completely gone. Sakuma smiled himself in his sleep as he grasped onto his friend's hand and they walked to soccer field together, where their friends were waiting. His dream was strangely similar to the way the two of them had started out, and Sakuma knew that once his injuries had healed up, they'd continue down the exact same path.


End file.
